Let’s face it: You interact with each of your patients a LOT during a typical day (it’s…er…kind of the job description!). And while you’re busy making your patients more comfortable and putting them on the road to recovery, they often start to develop a real emotional connection with you—which some can’t help but take a little too far!
The 10 funniest ways your patients have said “I love you!”
We have continuous pulse ox telemonitors, and I noticed that a patient’s oxygen sats were dropping. I went to his room to find his nasal cannula out of his nose. He said, “Are you here to rescue me?” I replied, “Something like that. Your oxygen levels are dipping a little low.” He then said, “Well, will it be mouth-to-mouth?” I couldn’t help but laugh as he winked and put his cannula back in his nose.
I had a patient, a little old man, whose bandage I changed. After I initialed it and wrote the date, he said, “You forgot your phone number!” LOL! Then he asked how he was supposed to call me for a date.
I once had a patient tell me, “Because you have been so nice to me and because you treated me like a real person, I will kill someone for you if you have anyone in mind.” WOW! I think he would have…and NO, I didn’t take him up on it!
A patient gave me a charm bracelet because we shared the same birthday. The next day, she beat me with her purse for stealing it….
Upon learning that I would be his nurse overnight, my 88-year-old male patient said, “That’s great! I haven’t spent the night with a redhead since the war!”
An 85-year-old straight female patient declared to me, “I love you! You’re so beautiful, I think you and I could have a beautiful family! You’d make gorgeous babies! Will you marry me?” I said yes, just to make her happy.
I once had a patient tell me he loved me. Before I could even respond, he punched me in the eye. Just another day in the life of a psych nurse!
A little old man patient asked for a cup of coffee, and I asked if he wanted sugar. He said, “Honey, just stick in your finger and swirl it around. That’ll make it sweet enough!”
While working at the VA in North Carolina, I was rotating through the psych unit. A patient came up to me, telling me he loved me and wanted to go home with me and be my “little piggy.” Hmmmm, yes, I received many “oinks” from my fellow nursing friends!
I was helping a young man with a head injury with a max assist transfer. I supported his ischia as he came to a full stand. I think he forgot what he was doing halfway through and misread the situation, because he closed his eyes and tried to kiss me. He had the most romantic expression. The worst thing was, I couldn’t let go of him. Time for a verbal cue!
What’s the funniest declaration of love you’ve ever received on the job? Share in the comments section below.
This article was republished with permission from SCRUBS Magazine.