“You Know You Are A Nurse When…”

The nurse sense of humor is unlike any other and our readers never fail to deliver LOL comments. Here's a few of our favorites on "you know you are a nurse when..." Check them out (to see if yours made the list) and don't forget to add your own to the comments section below.

"What about the recurring nightmare that you have slept through your whole shift and wake up in time for shift report and you have not gone in any patient rooms or given any meds!!!.I have had this for years!!! I am always so glad to wake up and find its just a nightmare??" -Madonna L.

"You know you’re a ER nurse when you start describing your bloody trauma at the dinner table. Used to gross out my son, but not my husband." -Barbara S.

"When your kids start crying and you ask, “Are you bleeding, dying or cant breath?” Then, it’s OK. Or, “if it’s broke, we can fix it!” -Gyalia

"You know your a nurse when you’ve diagnosed a complete stranger with heart disease diabetes and copd just by looking at them." -Eileen O.

"When the elderly church friend gentleman feels the need to call you often to discuss his bowel and bladder problems." -Sharon

"When you use IV tape on everything from “I can’t get the adult diaper tabs to cooperate” to minor equipment/office repairs." - LP

"When you jump up and answer the phone at the beauty shop and say your speech and who you are to who is calling." - Bonnie

"When you are in the grocery store assessing people swollen legs and feet, then looking into their grocery cart to see the cause of the swollen lower extremities." -Sheila

"You know your a nurse when you are in line at the grocery store and you find yourself scoping out the veins on the person in front of you!" - Tracy

"When you set up your nightstand or desk at home so neat as a sterilize table procedure." - Licia

"You know you are a nurse when your teenage daughter has bio class and starts talking about her latest dissection during Christmas dinner which upsets her Aunt but you are calmly sitting there eating and nodding your head to her descriptions." - Shawna M.

"When you ask your kids if they emptied their “bladder” before you leave the house." - Jeanne D.

"You know you are a nurse when you overhear someone giving incorrect medical advice to a friend in a store and you want to march right up there and correct them, even if it is a minor error. Improper treatment is not in your vocabulary! Also when you do a mini-psych eval on people at the supermarket!" - Liz C.

"That after being out of direct patient care for over 20 years you still have dreams (or nightmares) about having ALL the patients on the unit while hanging leaking IV bags, cleaning up bodily fluids, providing medications, putting out fires, having a full bladder AND being way behind schedule." - Dan B.

"You know you are a nurse, when 20 years later you have nightmares of the biggest fear of most nurses that you dreamed you went home with the narcotic keys." - LAY

"You know you are a nurse when you can take a 5 minute power nap while sitting on the toilet and feel completely refreshed afterwards." -Sonja H.

"When you actually stock Nitrile gloves in your kitchen for “clean technique” chicken recipes :o/" -Mary

"When you are 7 yrs retired and still say I’m a nurse. When family/friends and acquaintances still always ask you first when they have a medical question. And when you still take continuing education courses to keep up with the latest so your answers are right?‍" -Reba

"You know you’re a nurse when you wash your hands in a public toilet grab a napkin leaving the water running while the lady next to you looking at you wasting water because you turn off the faucet with same napkin." -Bambi R.

"When you see a co-worker not in scrubs you say, “that’s what you look like with regular clothes on LOL.” -Douglas M.

"You know you’re a nurse when you catch yourself checking stranger’s lower extremities for edema and cellulitis everywhere you go." -Rena F.

"When a dating question is, ” what medications are you on?” What can I say, just need to know what to expect…" -Renee

Did you get a good laugh from these reader comments? Share your own thoughts on "you know you are a nurse when" in the comments section below.

 

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27 COMMENTS

  1. You know you are a nurse when: You help clean up a patient after a large, messy, runny BM, them go to lunch and eat; the doctor says “what do you think it is?”; you have a patient roll out of bed, pin you on the floor underneath him, and die in the process. Yes this did really happen!

  2. You know you’re a nurse when you’re standing next to your mother’s hospital bed and your sister says, “Ssssh! I want to hear what the real nurse says!”

  3. You know that you are a nurse when your children complain about you and the way that you critic TV shows that involve anything medical. For example; Sounds of a respirator but the patient is not intubated, pt brought to the ER after traumatic car accident but no IV’s or oxygen, EKG monitor sounds, but no leads attached to pt, etc.

  4. I usually tell new nurses that they are official when they contemplate calling off work in the parking lot. Or laugh at really inappropriate humor.

  5. You know you are a nurse and married to a nurse when you are teaching your 8 year old son to gut a fish and he is trying to name the body parts. We opened the stomach and a small fish pops out which my son identified as “lunch” (for the fish) and kept on with the rest of what becomes a fish autopsy. Nurses kids aren’t grossed out by anything.

    • Speaking of nurses kids, my 7 year old son was playing outside when his friend fell and bumped her head. He lead her in to the house and asked “Mom can you do a neuoro check on My friend?

  6. You know you’re a nurse when your son in law kicks you out of the delivery room because you couldn’t keep your observations to yourself!

  7. You know you’re a nurse when you see someone in the grocery store with swollen, cellulitis-weepy legs huffing heavily on an oxygen tank and riding an electric scooter and you turn around and walk as quickly as you can the other way… just in case. That bomb’s a-ticking and it’s my day off!

  8. You know you’re a nurse when you go to a party and all you can think is how many improperly washed hands been in the snack bowl.

  9. You know your a nurse when everyone calls you for their diagnosis instead of going to the doctors. ” Can you look at my leg? there is this sore that has been there for a week. Does this look infected?”

  10. 50 years a nurse and retired 10 years, I still have a rare nightmare that I forgot to pass the 5 AM meds. Or we have no more ICU beds, but now are admitting patients bunkbed style to our clean utility room.

  11. I have enjoyed all of the comments..they have brought back many memories of what use to be. I have been a nurse for 50+yrs. I have one to add…ever heard of “Twilight Sleep”? Early in my career I worked in and taught Maternity nursing. I worked in a progressive university hospital. Many deliveries were done by this method…after labor had progressed women were given Scopolamine IV throughout the remainder of their labor. They were gorked, said many things they would have regretted if they knew, and most babies when delivered were extremely letharic. And of course everyone received a big SS enema upon arrival.

  12. You know you are a nurse when you take a family member to the ED and the caregivers have no idea what so ever about sterile technique. Or when someone removes sutures incorrectly, exposing the patient to a potential infection.

  13. You know you are a nurse when you caution your children about anything and everything and they tell you, you have a horror story for EVERYTHING!!!
    Example: do not ride a motorcycle; you will have an accident. It most likely is not your fault; someone in a car or truck hits you. You get taken to the ED and your leg falls off when they cut your clothes off.

  14. You know when you are overly worried to have given too much pain medications to an elderly patient and waking up telling you she had a dream of her funeral and I was there with my smiling face…

  15. You know you are a nurse when you watch TV and notice facial or bodily
    asymmetry or other abnormality and you diagnose the condition, or notice the announcer has mispronounced a simple medical term.

  16. You know you’re a nurse when someone says “ I didn’t know you used to be a nurse” and you reply “I still am a nurse just retired now”.

  17. You know you’re a nurse when you hear a person labored breathing and you begin with your eyes a head to toe assessment to determine if this person is suffering from COPD , CHF, Fluid Overload, Ascites, upper respiratory infection, Hypernatremia…..

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