If I Had Super-Scrubs…

This article was republished with permission from SCRUBS Magazine.

Scrubs don’t protect the average wearer against much. I routinely get peed on, bled on, vomited on (when I can’t dodge) and am generally exposed to bodily fluids that you don’t see outside of a horror movie. And they soak through my scrubs.

If I could wave a magic Nursing Wand, though, and make my scrubs into Super-Scrubs, this is what I’d protect against:

1. Any bodily fluid that isn’t mine. You’ve all had enough experience by now to know what I mean.

2. That one family member with an iPad and Internet access. Most questions I can field without a problem. Bring in that one family member with Google, though, and I start to feel a little shaky.

3. Management. Why do they have to come around just when there’s some nasty, gross, sweaty crisis unfolding? My Super-Scrubs would send them to the mezzanine floor with their clipboards and donors and keep them away until the end of the shift.

4. Crises that happen 10 minutes before the end of shift. With Super-Scrubs, every patient would maintain homeostasis until the off-going shift had gotten out of the parking lot.

5. Gross cafeteria food. Are you looking at something nasty that goes by the name “gumbo”? Super-Scrubs will transform it into a nicely grilled portion of salmon, a spinach salad with strawberries and goat cheese, and a chocolate flourless cake in an instant!

What would you protect against if you had an impenetrable shield? Share in the comments section below.

This article was republished with permission from SCRUBS Magazine.



  1. I work in a nursing home…
    1-No falls, injuries, etc. Q Day
    2- No More FULL MOON-“itis”
    3 – No call is, No shows, and “I’m leaving at________ (fill in the blank)” {aka – leaving early}

  2. my scrubs would protect my heart from breaking whenever I have to deal with the elderly who are abandon in the ER during the holidays

  3. The Google one cracked me up. My 11 year old great niece is grounded from Google currently. So far this year she has self diagnosed herself to have a brain tumor, Ebola, and now TB.

    • As a joke I used to tell everybody in class I had the symptoms of whatever disease we were studying. Helped me remember them. Certainly not funny in real life. Great story on the niece.


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