True to the claims of the old TV show “Kids Say the Darndest Things,” surround yourself by children each and every workday and that statement becomes not only true but very endearing.
It would be an unusual occurrence for me to end my workday without a funny/cute/smile-provoking story about one of my patients, whether it be something they said or did that day. The part I love most about my job as a pediatric nurse is the fact that although these children are in the hospital, they are still children with incredible imaginations and no circumstance can take that away from them.
In an effort to more clearly remember and appreciate some of these stories that stick out the most, I began documenting some of the one-liners from my patients. Please enjoy my top ten list of “Kid-isms,” all credit given to precious hospitalized children.
1. A young boy with a PICC line for IV therapy permanently renamed this device his “pink line.”
2. Post IV insertion on a five year-old girl: “how will you keep my insides from leaking now that the needle is in me?”
3. “What kind of scissors do they use to cut me open? You think they are purple like the ones I use at school?”
4. I found this scribbled note at the bedside of a patient waiting on a heart transplant around the holidays. Dear Santa, please mail me a heart so another kid does not have to die to give me theirs.
5. An eight year-old patient excitedly ran up to show me his autographed “hockey puff” that he received downstairs in the lobby when the Thrashers came to visit.
6. A young girl with eyes wide open greeted me when I entered the room with, “You are the charge nurse? I’m so glad you came, the batteries in my daddy’s camera just ran out, can you charge them?”
7. Quote (no lie) from a very jovial and very enthusiastic patient in his cute country twang: “I’m going to give you a terminate wedgie.” Although I questioned on multiple occasions if he meant permanent, he would always reply with, “much worse than permanent, a terminate one.”
8. One of our patient’s brothers was admitted to the hospital and transferred to our floor out of convenience for the family. When our patient found out his brother was coming, he responded with “he is just jealous because I get treated like a king here.”
9. And sometimes they can make you blush without meaning to. “You aren’t married? Why don’t you just marry one of these doctors? They make a lot of money.” Right in front of the rounding MD team, nonetheless.
10. “If you show me your scar I’ll show you mine…”
Do you have any favorite 'kid-isms'? Share yours in the comments section below.
This article was republished with permission from SCRUBS Magazine.
A 5 year old on a CR monitor was disconnected to go to the bathroom.
When he was done he asked to be plugged in again ( to the monitor)
so he could recharge himself!
A preschool boy on a continuous pulse ox pointed his lit up finger in the dark and said he was using his super powers to get better!
Another preschool aged child asked me not to shoot him when I arrived with an injection- heartbreaking!
A toddler mastering sentence structure would dismiss me with “all done, bye-bye” when she wanted me to leave. When she was discharged from the hospital, the last thing I did was to make sure I had her full attention, then say “all done, bye-bye” as she was leaving
I hope the kid in 4 got their wish from Santa. Sounds like one who the world needs to hang on to.
One very brave 4 year old found out he was going to have to get a shot. He stiffened up, wiped his nose on his little hand and said ” my bwuffer has a bigger butt. Do his pweese.” Ahhh! Brotherly love.
True dat! (I always made them take my brother first. After all he was the oldest….)
Conversation with my foster son who I brought Home from a residential facility for children with special needs and profound developmental delays, where I was the DON (he has spastic quadriplegia and uses a wheelchair and has never walked)
Me: Eli, please go get me a towel from the linen closet.
Eli: Darn it, I just sat down!
Dang smart-alecky young-uns! GOD bless him!! Funny! Obviously you are loved.
We try hard to explain to children what we are about to do and how it will feel, especially shots, so they won’t be so afraid. Savannah needed an injection and was being very brave about it. She was sat very still for the shot, then when it was over, with a sob in her voice said, “there, that didn’t hurt, di it”.
A little girl about 3 or 4, peeking over the top of my desk…..”my dad used to be a truck driver”…..I replied “he did”……she replied “yup but now he is just a jerk”……Oh I wonder where she learned that one at???
One of my favorites: As a school nurse, I use a temporal scan to check a temperature. A four year old student asked me to take her temperature because she had a ” brain freeze”.