15 MORE Hilarious Ways To Tell You’re Actually A Nurse

Photo by Naassom Azevedo on Unsplash

Ask and you shall receive --well we asked "you know you are a nurse when..." and boy did we receive some funny, thoughtful, truths about what being a nurse means. Check them out below to see if your comment made the list and don't forget to add your own below.

"You know you are a nurse and married to a nurse when you are teaching your 8 year old son to gut a fish and he is trying to name the body parts. We opened the stomach and a small fish pops out which my son identified as “lunch” (for the fish) and kept on with the rest of what becomes a fish autopsy. Nurses kids aren’t grossed out by anything." --Kelli

"You know you’re a nurse when your son in law kicks you out of the delivery room because you couldn’t keep your observations to yourself!" --Luzita

"You know you’re a nurse when you go to a party and all you can think is how many improperly washed hands been in the snack bowl." --Paula

"You know you're a nurse when everyone calls you for their diagnosis instead of going to the doctors. Can you look at my leg? there is this sore that has been there for a week. Does this look infected?” --Nicole

"You know you are a Nurse when….your 5 year old explains to her Pediatrician that she knows she drinks enough water because of the color of her urine.
. . . Announces to Grandma that she needs her “Miralax” and correctly explains why." --Twila

"When your kids come to you with any kind of ailment and they always end the description with, “And yes, mom, I pooped today.” …because it’s always my first question. Hahaha!" --Rebecca

"You are at a crowded mall…..you hear a phone ring that sounds just like your pager at work…….you furiously pat your pockets looking for your pager……." --Diane

"You know your a nurse when you realize it’s been almost 12 hours and you feeling a little pressure and thinking to yourself…"I’ve been so busy that I haven’t peed all day." We have iron bladders." --Deneen

"When you can identify the disease/condition by the smell of the BM….C-Diff, GI Bleed, etc. When the full moon is a thing of absolute dread instead of a thing of beauty.
When you dream of Xanax in a pez dispenser as the perfect Christmas present." --LaReda

"50 years a nurse and retired 10 years, I still have a rare nightmare that I forgot to pass the 5 AM meds. Or we have no more ICU beds, but now are admitting patients bunk bed style to our clean utility room." --Bernice

"I have thought about being in jail and being able to read and write a book while I am in solitary." --Helen

”You SO know you are a nurse when you are completely happy eating any meal from an 8 oz styrofoam cup with a plastic spoon.
You know you are a nurse when, at the supermarket, you might forget essential food on your list, but NEVER the coffee…. especially when you are going in for 3 12hr nights in a row… you stock your cart with coffee….
You know you are a nurse when you have gotten out of every speeding ticket by relating your speed to your shift in the ICU… going to, coming from, got called in… Sad but true, this has happened to me twice in 45 minutes. One evening, I was walking a group of nursing students through the ICU, one question was ‘What is the most important thing you have learned about nursing?’ While expecting something ‘Nightingale-ish’, they got my speeding ticket tip. CCRN life…." --Mary

"You know you are a nurse when you get into an elevator with a stranger or are standing in line at the grocery store and they start talking to you about their gallbladder or other ailment asking for your opinion. I feel like I must have RN stamped to my forehead." --Diana

"You know you are a nurse when you caution your children about anything and everything and they tell you, you have a horror story for EVERYTHING!!!
Example: do not ride a motorcycle; you will have an accident. It most likely is not your fault; someone in a car or truck hits you. You get taken to the ED and your leg falls off when they cut your clothes off." --Kathy

"You know you are a nurse when you wake up from a dead sleep punching the buttons next to door to silence the IV pump." --Emmi

Did you get a good laugh from these reader comments? Share your own thoughts on "you know you are a nurse when" in the comments section below.

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30 COMMENTS

  1. Our patient pajamas are colored by size. You know you’re a VA nurse when you look at people when you’re on a needed vacation and assess what color pajamas they would wear. “He’s definitely grey”. #bigboy

  2. You know you are a nurse when your kids volunteer your “expert” (LOL) services to every kid in the neighborhood or on their ball teams since you have all the needed band aids/ointments and other first aid items in your trunk/cabinets/cooler for any minor injury that a kid can have happen.
    Then also when at family gatherings (with food involved), we swap the gross stories of work…there are 3 in my immediate family and several cousins too!

  3. I heard a Nurse story the other day. You know you are a nurse when your friend (female)is a nurse and says that she took call today. I just got a call, go in for me. And give me the money when you get paid. Jim

  4. You know you’re a nurse when you wash your hands before and after using the rest room and, you know you’re a nurse when you are watching Code Black or Chicago Med and you are yelling at the TV that candy stripers don’t stock the ED shelves or participate in codes.

  5. You know you are a nurse when everyone that needs stitches removed come to you instead of going back to the doctor for it…… And you also happen to have everything on hand to stitch someone up….. Just in case.

  6. You know you are a nurse when your 3 year old is playing with his little friend on the playground and he says he has to go help her, making the noise of an ambulance siren as he runs towards her.

  7. You knew you’re a nurse when your husband watched the TLC show “things removed from the human body” would turn to you and ask if you’d removed that. Having worked @ San Francisco General ER back in the day, the answer was always yes.

    You know you’re a nurse when the staff (4 nurses) go out for breakfast after night shift and the cops ask to move to a different section cuz we’re making them nauseated.

    One of my female neighbors told me she thought she had a tampon stuck inside & wondered if I could take it out for her! I said no even though I do use vaginal forceps for BBQ.

  8. You know you are a nurse when everyone in the family calls or sends you texts with pictures, and want your opinion!
    And at family dinners you all talk nursing— we have 4 in the immediate family! Hahaha!

  9. You know you’re a murse, when everyone on the beach that is wearing the cheap sun-tan lotion, and they all look jaundice.

  10. You know you are a nurse when you see this beautiful young lady or the body builder and think they have fantastic veins to start IV.

  11. You know you’re a nurse when you look at someone’s hands and arms and notice if they would be a hard IV stick I’ve been an OR nurse for 40 years

  12. PAUL: I am a better Hospital CEO (now retired) because I earned a BSN explicitly as a prelude to obtaining my Masters in Hospital Administration.

  13. You know you’re a nurse when, at Disneyland no less, you tell your children not to drag their hands down the handrails because “Everyone here is doing that and you don’t know if they wash!”, my children swear they will end up with a broken leg from falling down stairs.

  14. You definitely have NURSE written all over you when you talk about all the gross things you see, smell at work over a meal and you do not even flinch or barf.

  15. You know your a nurse when your son ‘s teacher tells you he told her he had to urinate because his bladder is distended.

  16. You know you’re a nurse when you visit a friend in the hospital and he says, “since you’re a nurse, could you check my foley catheter”……..NOT!!!

  17. You know you are a nurse when you and your sister in law (who is also a nurse) are forbidden to sit next to each other at family dinners so you won’t talk about all the stuff you see at work!

  18. My husband, also a nurse, had the rude awakening on our honeymoon, that he had definitely married and old ICU nurse when I tired to code him in my sleep. I woke up kneeling next to him, my hands on his chest as he was shaking me. He just said, “Honey, I made it, you can stop now.”

  19. you know when you’re a nurse when you mention to your husband ‘that guy has great veins..bet i could be a 16 in one them from here’…and the husband says ‘i knew you were going to say that’….because he’s heard it for 35 years…

    • I do the same thing! I’ll be stroking my husband’s arm and he’ll say “you’re checking out my veins aren’t you? I’ve been an NP for 13 years (not drawing blood)and I still do this!

  20. You know you are a nurse when you do a visual assessment on everyone you see and spot things like enlarged thyroid, arthritic fingers, LE edema, cataracts, etc. and then start to question them about it! I once told a lady that her thyroid was enlarged! She immediately went to the doctor and was in surgery a few days later with suspected thyroid cancer! OMG

  21. You know your mother is a nurse when she tells you when you come in the house bleeding. “Dont bleed on the floor. I just washed it”

  22. You know your a nurse when your daughters soccer team deam you team nurse and now you are responsible for every player at every game -Krystal

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