No matter where we work, no matter what shift we work and no matter how long we’ve been doing this job, there are just (many) certain absolute truths that all nurses can agree upon. With the insurmountable stress of our jobs, it’s always nice to know we all can rely on a bit of humor to get us through the day.
Here are 10 truths that I think we all can agree on. Enjoy the laughs.
10 humorous truths of nursing
1. The volume of an alarm is inversely proportional to its severity: Empty tube-feeding alarms will wake the dead; V-tach alarms won’t wake a manic patient.
2. As the number of available bedside commodes decrease, the number of patients (with unsteady gaits) with Go-Lytely ordered will increase.
3. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
4. Insurance covers everything except what happens.
5. If you’re feeling good, don’t worry. You’ll get over it.
6. The patients who have the most trouble swallowing have the most pills to swallow.
7. The sickest patient who requires the most attention is the one farthest from the nurses’ station.
8. Other nurses get pulled to your unit only on the quietest of shifts, so they believe your floor is the easiest in the hospital and that you never work as hard as they do.
9. Providers cannot examine their patients without tearing apart your beautifully made bed and/or dressing.
10. You always remember “just one more thing” after you’ve left the hospital.
What would you add to the list? Share your truths in the comments section below.
This article was republished with permission from SCRUBS Magazine.
It’s all about TEAM, being part of a team, working as a team until you ask for some much needed days off and you need coverage and it’s amazing how fast that team disintegrates.
Nowadays it’s all about the customer survey.
If patients don’t like a certain nurse for whatever reason, or their pain med wasn’t given fast enough, it always reflects on the poor nurse. We are the scapegoats for whatever is wrong with the system. And we put up with alot – demanding patients, arrogant doctors, $$ oriented hosp admin.
Nursing is a rear skil. Most people don’t understand nor possess. It’s a gift and one has to understand this concept in other to do your best selflessly, enjoy what you do and last long in this profession. It’s the best thing I ever did. I’ll still go back as a volunteer even at my age and condition.
Right after you tell some one you had an incredibly wild shift, the next shift in the same time slot and the shift followint has an incredibly quite time
On your worst day and you are ready to quit, there will be that patient that says Thank you or pulls at your heart and we come back for more.
Work hard, get burned out, be a continuous learner, strive for excellence RETIRE
Most important learned skill within the organization:ass kissing, and YOU get to report to them!
The more incompetent the nurse, the faster he/she will rise within the corporate organization.
the ER calls you for a pick-up, the RR calls , they need you to come get your patient as they need more space, the pharmacy calls with the fact they need you to call doctors as they need clarification of orders, the nsg asst. having a problem with a patient, a family member needs to speak to you about their great-uncle twice removed and its important!!!, ….and EVERYONE is more busy than you!!!!
Team rounds meets always at the busiest time of your morning drug pass and initial assessment so basically your ability is sooo stunted to relay any valuable Nursing information about your pts!
Nursing administrators and managers have very little power in this “New Age” of corporatized medicine.Collaborative Care Councils, Self Governance, Team Work , Briefings, Debriefings etc all mean the same thing : Early Discharge and don’t to check all the boxes. Enough already! Nursing has been relegated to tasks no matter what the “Corporate Speak” says to the contrary .
There is a new diagnosis as of 2017: Ass Kissing. How do we treat it: early discharge of the perpetrators. Amen!