11 Nursing Diagnoses That Don’t Exist…But Ought To

This article was republished with permission from SCRUBS Magazine.

Sure, nurses diagnose patients all the time…but have you ever felt like you needed to diagnose yourself? Sometimes your shift (or week, or month) is just that crazy!

We came up with 11 funny nurse diagnoses that don’t exist yet; we’ve got a feeling that you need to start diagnosing yourself and taking appropriate relief measures, STAT (chocolate, anyone?)!

11 nursing diagnoses that don’t exist…but ought to

1. Grumpiness, exacerbated by…
a. sleeplessness
b. hunger
c. full bladder
d. all of the above

2. Stress Overload (this one actually does exist!)

3. Chocolate Deficit

4. Caffeine Deficit

5. Vacation Deficit

6. Irritation, secondary to fire drill called in the middle of a dressing change

7. Inadequate Ventilation (in the air-conditioner sense, not in the respiratory sense)

8. Incomplete Meal Consumption

9. Screeching Beeper

10. Ill-Fitting Scrubs

And finally…

11. Risk for Impaired Interaction with Upper Management

Anything to add? Share in the comments section below.

This article was republished with permission from SCRUBS Magazine.
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8 COMMENTS

  1. Great list!
    I would add the PIA (what you sit on) patient/resident who is on the call light every 5 to 10 minutes; and doesn’t need ANYTHING or denies they pushed the button {AKA – attention seeking}. Yup, I got one of them. ***sigh***

  2. PTNS: Post traumatic nurse syndrome r/t years of applying nursing process
    As a retired (re=again, tired=all nurses!) RN, we apply assessment skills to every situation. I sat several rows behind a young woman in church with cut-outs in her white shirt showing a large black “mole”. Upon closer look, I was embarrassed (and relieved!) to find out it was the tag of her shirt! Bad backs, leg (varicose veins) issues, being told by family we “worry too much” are signs/sx. 😕

  3. #7 struck a chord with me. I was working on the 6th floor of a Level 1 Trauma Center when the primary power failed – and so did the backup generators. We were truly screwed. No elevators, no ventilation, nothing. All the respiratory therapists had to go to ICU to manually bag vent patients as the batteries died. Patients’ beds were stuck in the positions they were in when the power failed. IV pump batteries were failing right and left. It was that way for something like about 5 hours! Thankfully, no one on our floor coded… When we finally got our power back for the first time, the immediate overload shut it right back down. It took two or three tries before the power actually stayed on, and I remember thinking, “Thank God for ventilation!”

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